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TV review: Channel 4's The Jump with Eddie 'the Eagle' Edwards is off-piste from start to finish

By Gloucestershire Echo  |  Posted: January 27, 2014

The Jump

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Is there anything celebrities won't do for a pay day? Or rather is there anything Sinitta won't do to get her face on TV now that Simon Cowell is playing happy families.

We've seen them nibbling nether regions Down Under, skating like Bambi on ice and diving into swimming pools like injured swans all in the name of entertainment.

We've had soap stars pretending they're opera stars (Soapstar Operastar) myriad D-listers imitating A-list singers (Your Face Sounds Familiar) and a load of people slagging each other off like one big dysfunctional family (Big Brother)

Turns out celebrities are like everybody else. They can try to dance, try to sing and try to cook - with most of them, much like the rest of us, failing miserably to make it look better than your average Saturday night when the Blue Nun gets passed around like sausage rolls at an office Christmas party.

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And so to The Jump. Celebs on horseback? No. Gymnastics class led by Mr Motivator? No. Alas, we're in the Alps and skiing is the name of the game.

Broadcast live from Innsbruck, Austria, we were given the usual spiel of terrified celebs embarking on their scariest adventure yet as they seek further publicity and a big fat juicy wad of cash. Oh what a life I tell you, what a life.

Davina McCall had been flown out to the wintery slopes to host affairs (no expenses spared here) and it seemed the icy temperatures we're only aiding her natural ability to hyperventilate. THERE'S PEOPLE. CELEBRITIES. A LOT OF INSURANCE MONEY HAS EXCHANGED HANDS. DON'T GO ANYWHERE!

Among the supposed daredevils risking life and limb for the grand prize - a cow bell trophy - include cricketer

Darren Gough, comedian Marcus Brigstocke and a certain Sir Steve Redgrave. Oh and Sinitta - of course.

So here's the deal. They've been given two weeks of training (some have previous experience, some haven't), then they have to compete in eight different winter sports and those who come out bottom go head-to-head in The Jump with the person jumping the shortest distance hitting the designer shops to spend their hard earned cash.

Bored yet? Five minutes in and it was the outfits that were perhaps the most 'daredevil' part. They looked like a bunch of misfit superheroes in multi-coloured spandex that was straight out of an episode of Scooby Doo.

The opening credits saw Gloucestershire's very own Eddie 'the Eagle' Edwards take to the slopes to show them how it's done and then we were presented a selection of clips of the male celebs competing in the Giant Slalom.

To my mind though, skiing is not the most entertaining spectator sport at the best of times. It's a little like croquet in that respect and you won't stick a game of that on at 8pm on a Sunday night.

There simply wasn't enough drama - dare I say risk - to keep me excited no matter how hard Davina tried. AND GOD SHE TRIED. Even the climax which saw an ageing hairdresser to the stars compete with a member of boyband FIVE as they took to THE JUMP just couldn't rescue this terrible terrible venture.

Tomorrow Sinitta takes centre stage as the women try their hand at bob skeleton and it shows promise. For a start the sneak preview has plenty of clips of Sinitta doing what Sinitta does best (forget the leaf outfit of X Factor) which is largely worry and cry a little. Then a little bit more. Presumably she thought they were filming a music video and reality has hit home hard.

This is reality TV taken to its limits; manufactured, emotionless crap wheeled out through desperation. I'm usually all for that mind, providing it throws up entertainment which this, sadly lacks from start to finish.

What next then? Celebrity mud wrestling? Celebrity chess? Pets of celebrities have talent? God help us. It's, ahem, paws for thought...

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