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Men can be 'great role models' for their violent mates

By The Citizen  |  Posted: February 15, 2013

  • UNITED WE STAND: Gloucestershire Domestic Abuse Support Service staff;

  • Abuse victim Lisa Boyle, sings at the event.

Comments (4)

MEN are being encouraged to challenge their mates when they talk about being violent against women.

Anti-domestic violence champion Thangam Debbonaire, from charity Respect, told a rally of people at Gloucester Docks yesterday that non-violent men were the best people to get the message across to their violent friends.

She said: "Non-violent men can be great role models to their mates.

"I'm not saying they sit down and talk at length about it when they are in the pub but it does come up in conversation and they can challenge.

"When that joke about rape comes up, they can say 'hang on, that's not funny, what if that was your daughter or your sister?'"

Thangam was the headline act at the One Billion Rising event, which featured singing and dancing. The worldwide event challenges people to speak up about violence against women and girls.

They claim one in three women in the world will be raped during their life and that 80 per cent of rapists in Britain are known and trusted by their victims.

Domestic violence victim Lisa Boyle, 25, from Stroud, has written and performed her own songs to help her deal with what she went through.

The mum of one said: "I have been helped hugely and I wanted to give something back at an event like this."

Gloucester City Homes backed the event.

Chief executive Ashley Green said: "Only yesterday we had an 80-year-old woman come to us to say that she was homeless because her partner had become abusive.

"Domestic abuse is going on in people's homes and we don't tolerate this sort of behaviour. We have now rehoused this woman and the support is there for others too."

Gloucester city councillor Kate Haigh (L, Matson and Robinswood), one of the organisers of the Gloucester event, said: "I'm here not just as a woman, but as a human being, to say that women should be able to live their lives without fear of violence.

"This day of action is all about being positive rather than downtrodden about the issue."

The event was followed by a SlutWalk in the evening. Women were encouraged to don short skirts and high heels during the protest march across the city centre.

See your Weekend Citizen tomorrow for coverage of the march.

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4 comments

  • sticks_stones  |  February 16 2013, 2:56AM

    It's, NEO-Labours PC way of 'dealing' with 'sensitive' issues -at the rate it's going, we'll soon be 'prisoners' in our own homes - vote Labour = more crime, rapes, violence etc etc... out of control immigration... the list is endless...oh the joys and wonders of it all...

    |   -1
  • Jewbacca  |  February 15 2013, 12:50PM

    This is well intentioned, but utterly pointless. Even the scrotiest and chavviest of my mates would never brag about actually having beat their partners up. Joking about it, however, we all do, but it doesn't mean we'd do it ourselves or encourage somebody who did. I happily admit I laugh at Frankie Boyle's jokes about violence and rape, laughing is how human being deal with trauma. In no way does it diminish my hatred of the practice.

    |   -4
  • CaptCX  |  February 15 2013, 12:16PM

    From the article: " Gloucester city councillor Kate Haigh (L, Matson and Robinswood), one of the organisers of the Gloucester event, said: "I'm here not just as a woman, but as a human being, to say that women should be able to live their lives without fear of violence." Well actually Kate, everyone - not just women - should be able to live their lives without fear of violence. How are we going to acheive this? Well maybe we could start by ensuring that our judges properly punish those who commit violent acts against others. Anyone reading through the articles in TIG won't have to wait long before they're reading about some thug who has committed some horrendous act of violence - and then shaken their head in disbelief as they read that some dribbling old judge has doddered down from his mansion to tell them they are jolly naughty and given them a few weeks in prison (recognise yourself Judge Hart?????). Of course, that is after insult has been added to injury when the defence lawyer has been allowed to plead mitigation for his client because of some spurious excuse, usually drink or drug related. When we, as a society, do not punish violent criminals properly, why are we surprised that they do not take the law seriously and simply continue to do what they want to who they want? Because I'm sorry, but they sure as hell aren't going to change because a well meaning woman is playing her guitar and singing a song.

    |   4
  • nomossystone  |  February 15 2013, 11:27AM

    Thankyou to all the women in this support team, this support for women is long overdue.

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