Login Register
 °

Martin Kirby Column; Egging Them On, A Cross In The Square and Wising You The Best

By Kirbso  |  Posted: December 20, 2013

  • Cooking the city council's goose

VIEW GALLERY
Comments (1)

SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE

It's pantomime time again atGloucester City Council and this year, our favourite panto-loons are in a flapover finances.

 

Cast; Councillors PAULJAMES as BARON BROKECITY

Related content

          JENNIE DALLIMORE as PRINCESS PODSMEADIA

          PAM TRACEY as MOTHER GOOSE

          COLIN ORGAN as MR MOVEMBER

 

Scene 1: BARON BROKECITYis meeting his friends and supporters in a King's Square telephone kiosk. PRINCESSPODSMEADIA arrives, looking annoyed.

 

PODSMEADIA

Father – what's all thisabout budget cuts? I hope it's not going to affect my Communities andNeighbourhoods department.

 

BARON

You must be joking, girl. Everything'sin line for the chop. I've already started licking the chocolate from myleftover McVities so other cabinet members can eat them as ordinary digestiveslater.

 

PODSMEADIA

Disgusting!

 

BARON

Certainly was – theyweren't McVities at all – they were cheap copies from the Far East.

 

PODSMEADIA

China?

 

BARON

No, it's a takeaway inTuffley. Pity they didn't come from the Eastgate Market, then I'd have had anexcuse to close it down without having to pay any compensation. Still, thereare more important things to worry about – Dick's gone missing.

 

PODSMEADIA

You mean Dick Whittington?

 

BARON

No, our MP. He wassupposed to be at my meeting. Perhaps he's still upset about England losing theashes.

 

PODSMEADIA

I'm not surprised nobody'sseen him. The last I heard, he was parking his car in the Gloucester Quaysmulti-storey.

 

MOTHER GOOSE races intothe square on her bicycle, screeching to a halt. (Her brakes are noisy too). Shegrabs the BARON by the arm.

 

MOTHER GOOSE

I've got an idea.

 

BARON

I know, but can we leavethat for now and concentrate on the budget?

 

MOTHER GOOSE

My goose is very talented.

 

BARON

Your goose is verypainful!

 

MOTHER GOOSE

We've found out that shecan lay golden eggs. We'll all be rich.

 

PODSMEADIA

Doesn't sound like a good ideato me. We've already got a golden egg and it's been a nightmare to get rid of.

 

MOTHER GOOSE

No, she really can laygolden eggs. At last we can be proud of Glawster.

 

MR MOVEMBER wanders by,eating a sandwich.

 

BARON

What have you got there,Mo?

 

MOVEMBER

Thought I'd try somethingdifferent – it's Goose Tikka Masala.

 

MOTHER GOOSE bursts intotears.

 

PODSMEDIA

Well, that's that. We'lljust have to keep slicing at the salami.

 

MOTHER GOOSE

I think we should go thewhole sausage.

 

BARON

It's the same every year,over-worked and under-paid councillors doing their best for the city –attending photo opportunities, business lunches, and getting no thanks fromanyone.

I don't know why Ibother…… by the way, where's MOTHER GOOSE gone?

 

MOVEMBER and PODSMEADIA

She's behind you!

 

NEW AGE VOTERS?

Seeing the kerfufflecaused by Gloucester's MP, Richard Graham when he commented on the idea of 16year-olds being able to vote, reminded me of "The Eve of Destruction",a protest song written by P. F. Sloan in 1965. Several artists have recordedit, but the best-known version was by Barry McGuire.

Part of it goes;

"The eastern world, it isexploding.

Violence flarin', bulletsloadin.'’

You're old enough to kill,but not for votin'." ’

This sums upexactly what many young people felt in response to Richard's dismissal of theircompetence to choose who should represent them in Parliament. I've long been ofthe opinion that only the bad guys get publicity. For example, we are toldthere are around 100,000 youngsters in the UK who are carers for a disabledparent or sibling in addition to going to school and running the household. Ifthey can do that, they should be capable of putting a cross on a piece ofpaper. Anyway, most teenagers have more idea of what's going on in the realworld than any of the cosseted, well paid, smug and self-promoting inhabitantsof the House of Commons.

 

HO HO HO!

With this being mylast outing before Yuletide comes and goes, I'd like to wish a very merryChristmas to both of my readers - and I hope that everyone in Gloucester getswhat they wish for.

Read more from Gloucester Citizen

Do you have something to say? Leave your comment here...

max 4000 characters
  • SandraPee  |  December 21 2013, 2:28PM

    Ha, ha, hee hee hee, ho, ho, ho ....Good one Martin !!

    |   1

      YOUR COMMENTS AWAITING MODERATION